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The
Undiscovered Hero More Information on Wilderness Therapy: www.EducationOptions.Org
In my years of work as a forester, then as an engineer, and now a psychologist, I have come to certain realizations. It is not simply science, reason and fact that guides our decisions and shapes our behavior. These things are certainly important to an adult, but logic does not guide our children in the decisions they make and the values they express early in life. From the perspective of reasonable and mature adulthood, we seem to believe, as a culture, that we can imbue children with important life values and decision making abilities by exposing them to our "mature adulthood" and our "reasonable level of consciousness". We become frustrated when we cannot "grow" our children up through discussion, argument or lectures on the "facts" of life. While I consider myself rather scientific in my training, I have come through a long struggle in my work with children, families and adults to realize that there is no real science of human behavior. We have only a small understanding of human nature and this merely allows us to guide and control behavior to some extent. Beyond the reach of science and technology, the human mind is nearly boundless in mystery and expression of our spirit. We do not control and program children. We raise them in world that is far more complex than we can communicate with reason, recommendations and fact. We seem to discover most of the world through our experience and observations. So the most important question and the answer should be obvious. Do our children experience and observe a world that is artificial, confusing, without boundaries and fraught with personal cruelties that have nothing to do with life when we are least prepared? What I believe we are lacking today are stories about the experience of the human spirit and what I have come to believe are the heroic potentials and effort in every child who is reaching for adulthood. I now need to change my train of thought to a related but important topic. I have become fascinated with anthropology and mythic stories. As I have studied this area of our history I soon realized that our culture, one dominated by technology and science, is sadly lacking in adventure, ritual, rights of passage, or any events that we might call the defining moment that allows our children and even adults to move forward with courage, honor and a new found self-respect. I have also noticed that we commonly use words like "awesome", "radical" and "tough" as if we are trying to re-invent ourselves, and a life lived, that is anything but these words. As far as I can tell, there is very little that we truly appreciate and grasp in society that we can honestly call "epic", "awesome" or "out there". So..., I have also come to believe that our youth in this country are starving for direction, challenges, opportunities to master their experience, be of service to others, to learn and grow strong, and most importantly - to make a difference, if not, to save the day for someone weaker and in need of help. That is a long sentence and might be worth reading again. I have read it over and over and it really makes sense, but only if I (and possibly you) work at it. I want to say something about raising young boys to become men. I am beginning to realize that many young boys today are raised by teachers, mothers and older kids - and not their fathers. And I have come to realize that for thousands of years, and even farther back, every boy not only needed his father, but also a grandfather who understands his son and grandson. We used to live in communities where families were not strangers, but lived and worked together. It has been the role of grandfathers throughout time to guide and support the relationship between his son and grandson. Grandparents used to play important roles in our lives, and family meant something different that it does today. In the origin or language, the word family was another word for survival. Large families survived, small families were at risk. The word "culture" actually derives from more ancient words that mean "survival". We have lost many things as our lives have become dependent on technology and science and not on each other. I am still amazed that ranchers who live 20 to 40 miles apart in Central Oregon seem know each other better and get along better than people who live next door to each other in the city. From the perspective of a young child, the very role and nature of a father (and mother) is heroic . If you watch small children, you can see that every son wants and needs a relationship with a father who is in some way a heroic figure. Because of these observations, and my discoveries about the role of mythic stories in our history, I have become fascinated with the role of the hero father and the heroic child in society. And all of this certainly applies to the relationship between mothers and their children. I have discovered something else. We, as a society, seem to have no room for the heroic spirit (except in the movies). And while we use words like "awesome", we distrust - if not destroy many heroic children in school - unless of course they can play sports. So many of our youth become dis-empowered instead of recognized or inspired in ways other than sports or cheerleading. Their ability to experience the heroic challenge of life are vastly diminished over what the real heroic challenges were in the past. Imagine the son going on a hunt with his father and other men. Imagine the 16 year girl saving her younger sister from drowning. We have very few heroes in society, and as far as I have been able to tell, we have cheapened this term by loosing touch with the heroic challenges in life in the same way we cheapen our potential with the faddish use of words like "awesome". Whether we discover our heroic potential or not, there is a hero child within each of us. And of all the heroic figures, I have come to believe the greatest hero is the child who does not believe he or she is a hero, but is never-the-less prepared for the heroic adventure by the undiscovered qualities and abilities that are evoked when they are facing the "inevitables" of life. And it is our ability to avoid being heroic, because we fail, or we are afraid to fail, that destroys our self-esteem, and turns our children into "escape artists" who become dishonest, unaware, unskillful, irresponsible and unaccountable. So what are the "inevitables" of life? The inevitables of life are those moments that are necessary, require a response in order to care for yourself, and a time when your actions allow you the opportunity to hold yourself in esteem. And they are moments where your actions hold the benefit of others who are weaker or vulnerable above your self. The inevitables in Wilderness Therapy are many things - like gathering firewood in the winter, teaching a new student how to build a fire, doing what needs to be done instead of trying to get someone else to do it for you, or simply being open and honest about your problems so that others with problems don't feel so alone and ashamed. More than a residential treatment program, the adventure and discoveries that students find in wilderness settings are real, important and lasting. There is nothing honorable, adventurous, forgiving or restoring about living in a treatment facility that is considered "treatment" by simply requiring children to go to therapy and learning to live by a system of points, levels of trust and privileges that are based on "token" economies. What on earth are children learning when they need to wash their clothes to get points that can be traded for the opportunity to watch television - and even a T.V. show that isn't morally healthy to begin with? Can anything be said about gathering firewood in order to be warm at night and to see well enough to write and read the poetry you wrote to a group of peers? From the perspective of behavioral science, Wilderness Therapy provides evaluations, therapy and therapeutic experiences within a primitive living environment that have a structured series of challenges, trials and ordeals. But from the view point of students, Wilderness Therapy is an adventure filled with adversity, challenges, trials and ordeals found in nature and in groups attempting to live in nature. The challenge is not unrealistic. Some children face the challenge, and other students can think of little else than running off. Why do they want to run? Because they have always run from the inevitables of life, their problems and from their self. There is more than just a therapeutic experience in the wilderness. There are traditions and powerful stories about students who earn names like "Glacier Morning" and "Standing Elk" who made important decisions, cared about others and faced their inner dragons. Students in Wilderness Therapy do not risk this adventure alone. Student who enter a program will eventually come to understand that many heroic students have gone before them. When you think about it, youth at risk are frequently involved in activities at home, in society, and even their schools, that are often dangerous and unreasonable. They are involved in risky, misdirected, destructive and often shameful activities that dishonor their families and their own self-esteem. Yet the very same courage or strengths that can drive students to be defiant, oppositional and to disregard the rules of society, can be redirected into persistent efforts to overcome adversity, and to achieve what I believe every child hopes for and fears is impossible to achieve - their heroic potential. So what is a hero? A hero is someone who has given himself or herself to something other than himself and bigger than himself. A hero must also do something or achieve something beyond the normal range of experience. The structure of wilderness therapy is therapeutic, but it involves students in activities that are extraordinary and outside the range of normal experience. Those who are weak in spirit and believe that children are weak, will consider the challenges of an outdoor program punishing. Students may claim it is punishment to get out, but graduates have come to realize that the program has helped them tremendously. The fundamental experience is that students enter the program in state of psychological rebellion, dependency or insufficiency. Upon completion of the program, they return home with a new sense of family, independency, self-sufficiency and responsibility. They learn to be assertive and not aggressive, they learn that honesty is easier and more honorable than manipulation and deception, and they learn healthy ways to hold the benefit of others above their own. For the new student, everything in Wilderness Therapy begins as if it were a story, and their experience can be understood through stories. I can talk to you about the clinical and behavioral ramifications, but students could care less about the clinical vision of the world. Children love stories and they love to tell stories about their lives and adventures - especially the ones that got them into trouble. These stories are sometimes mythic in quality. They involve both adversity and challenges that our students must face alone, with their peers, and with our staff who act as guides and instructors. Once a child enters a wilderness therapy program, the journey is undertaken either consciously or unconsciously. But the journey is always taken. Sometimes students do not understand the meaning of this adventure until they have progressed from the stage of adjustment to a point of mastery. But the core experience is the same. They face the true inevitables of life that our society has clouded from our sight, lost touch with and hides from. And these experiences represent the very core of what each child is capable of facing and what can make a society and the life of a child successful. There is no need to get in trouble in order to find excitement or adventure in our lives. I suppose the idea of wilderness therapy might seem odd, but in truth, the goal of Wilderness Therapy is to align students with the inevitable realities of life, the challenges that technology shields us from, and the ordeals that existed ages ago. The landscape and stage is set by the structure of a wilderness program and their connection with nature. When nature and demands of living in a group challenge students, we witness and support the potential that is only now discovered. Wilderness Therapy is not another therapy experience for a student in yet another residential treatment facility. Facing the inevitable realities of life in nature prepare students to face the realities of school, living at home and dealing with their peers. More than an education, wilderness therapy strives to teach honesty, awareness, skill, responsibility and accountability. Dr. Conner is a clinical psychologist who completed a research and training fellowship in graduate medical education and health education. He provides training, evaluation and intervention services for adults, families and youth. He is Board Certified in Emergency Crisis Intervention, Emergency School Response and Sports Psychology. This article is also available at www.CrisisCounseling.Com. Dr. Conner’s practice is located in Bend Oregon and he can be reached at 541 388-5660 or Conner@CrisisCounseling.Com. copyright 1998 to 2004, Michael G. Conner |